It’s all true

Everything on this page is true. Simply because it’s on the internet, and everything on the internet is true.

  • Unicorns exist, although some got fat and are now called Rhinos.
  • You can cut a snake into pieces and each piece will become a new snake.
  • UFOs exist, but were not built by Aliens. They were built by Mayans, who check in on us from time to time.
  • The lost civilization of Atlantis is a myth, however the lost Mu empire does exist and lives in our sewers.
  • Ice cream is actually made of depleted uranium.
  • There are cameras in your home, watching you at all time. However they were not placed there by the US Government or the Illuminati. They were placed there by the Dutch.
  • The number Pi ends when your computer runs out of memory.
  • Foxes will replace humans as the dominant species by the year 2024.
  • People think an asteroid killed the Dinosaurs. This is a myth, as evidence has shown that an asteroid of equal mass hits the earth every 1.7 years. They go unnoticed due to a global government cover up.
  • Chuck Norris killed the Dinosaurs.
  • Despite the notion that diamonds are one of the hardest substances on the planet, scientists have uncovered that bagels can become 10X has hard after being left out for 3 days.
  • Historians have uncovered evidence that Nikola Tesla and Zeus, the God of Sky and Thunder, are one and the same person. It is believed that Zeus took this mortal form due to a bet with Eris, Goddess of Discord. Eris would later take the form of Thomas Edison in a tempt to rig the bet. The conditions of the bet are as of yet unknown.
  • The moon is made of soap.
  • Gotham City is fictional, however Batman is real. He moves to a new city once all crime has been reduced to tolerable levels.
  • Carbon dating has proven that the earth is only 1260 years old. Recorded history prior to that was a result of mass hysteria.
  • Banana slugs are both the most intelligent animal on the planet and the most tasty.
  • In 1952, the Cuyahoga River caught on fire when a dragon attempted to burn the city of Cleveland down.
  • Vermont is home to the worlds largest Rooster. It stands over 7 feet tall and is named Phillip.
  • Christopher Columbus discovery was inaccurate. Modern satellite photos reveal that the earth is oblong rather than a perfect sphere.
  • The Swiss do not like cheese.
  • Tommy Wiseau is currently overseeing the production of a video game port for his feature film, The Room. The game is rumored to feature multiple endings, a football mini-game, and Oculus Rift support.
  • Facebook has more registered users than the earth has people.
  • The metric system is wrong and should not be used.
  • Human beings once had tails, measuring from 4 to 13 feet in length and were an effective “third arm”. In 1481 King Edward IV ordered all tails to be removed from humanity and proceeded on a crusade to cut off the tails of as many men, women and children as possible. By the time of his death in 1483 he had succeeded, and from that point on, all tails were removed at birth. The procedure is so obscure that modern doctors rarely even think about it beyond being “standard procedure” when a child is born.
  • Computer software is not written, it is conjured into being. The term “Programmer” is an ancient Gaelic term meaning “Illusion Summoner”.
  • Your refrigerator door was left open last night, but I closed it for you. You’re welcome.
  • The sun is closer to the earth than the moon.
  • The internet does not exist.
  • U. S. Presidents are never elected. Instead it is decided by playing Dungeons & Dragons in the oval office. The secretary of defense acts as the dungeon master.
  • The invention of Mustard Gas was intended to be used as a food condiment. It was only decided to be used as a weapon after several unfortunate deaths at the inventors restaurant.
  • California earthquakes do not actually exist, as no tectonic plates exist in that area. The “quakes” are caused by Chuck Norris during his exercise routine.
  • Everything you have ever recycled has actually been tossed into Mauna Loa, the worlds largest active volcano, as a sacrifice to appease the Hawaiian gods.
  • One should never trust a Canadian, as their nations reputation for being “nice people” is only a clever ruse to hide their true evil nature.
  • Many theologians claim that the fictional character Jeffrey “The Dude” Lebowski is actually the 2nd coming of Jesus Christ.
  • You are not reading this right now.
  • In 1927 Charles Lindbergh flew his single seat monoplane non-stop from New York to Paris, making the first transatlantic flight recorded. It was later discovered that this action was accidental. He got lost while trying to fly to Pittsburgh for a weekend get-away.
  • The stuffing inside of most children is made up of crushed glass and medical sharps refuse.
  • The secret ingredient of Coka Cola is urine. The secret ingredient of Pepsi is bile.
  • Franklin D. Roosevelt never had Polio. His wheelchair was actually a jet pack with built in missile turrets.
  • Nobody likes Baseball.
  • The use of tobacco products has no negative long term effects.
  • The great depression was caused by the Dutch, as a way to distract Americans while they installed cameras into their homes.
  • Citizen Kane is considered to be, by all critics, the worst film ever made. Its popularity is due to an anonymous internet troll who posted a positive review of the film as a joke.
  • The last dragon on earth died in 1973 in Glastonbury.
  • Dutch currency is still photos of U. S. citizens in their homes.
  • Hotdogs are made from tiny bits of lead and paper waste ground into a paste with color and flavor added.
  • Johannas Gutenberg invented the printing press by accident. Initially his machine was to press his pants, with the intention of opening up the first dry cleaner business.
  • Still photo cameras are powered by witch craft and slowly take your soul. With the rise in popularity of the less-powerful digital camera, the order of witches and warlocks invented the term “Selfie” as a way to maintain their steady flow of souls to feed on. This also explains the slowly decreasing intelligence of the average social media user.
  • Australia is the largest exporter of laxative supplements.
  • Humans can live for 14 years without food, as long as they can smell food once every day.
  • All retail workers are androids.
  • Nobody will be offended by this list.
  • Twinkies are actually made out of soft, hallow rocks.
  • The telephone was actually invented in ancient Egypt, but the technology was lost after Cleopatra failed to pay her phone bill. The technology would be rediscovered in the 1870s by Alexander Graham Bell and Elisha Gray.
  • Hobbits exist in New Zealand and are the main inspiration of Tolkiens stories.
  • The American Civil War was initiated by the Dutch.
  • Captain Archer is the most beloved Star Trek Captain.
  • Few people realize that zombies are real. In recorded history, there have been at least 2 zombie uprisings. As a result, all modern day morticians are certified in the process of de-zombification, the process of ensuring the dead does not return to life.
  • In 1989, in an attempt to lower the amount of poverty stricken families, the United States government passed the ‘fair play’ bill. This legislation allows anyone with a salary of $90,000 or more per year the legal right to select one random person who makes less than $4,000 per year, kidnap them, take them to a designated national wildlife park, hunt them for sport, and if desired, cook and eat the captive person once the hunt has been concluded.
  • Pluto is still a planet.
  • Light bulbs are made by encasing lightning bugs into a glass tube and using electricity to stimulate them.

 

Recent Awards

British SPG - Sexton II

Mastery: Ace Tank

Earn more experience in a single battle than the average highest experience of 99% of all players in the same tank within the last seven days.


Kamakazi

Destroy a higher-tier enemy vehicle by ramming it. You can only earn this achievement once per battle. The icon in the service record displays the number of times the achievement was awarded.